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December 2009

gingerbread-house-81450_1280

December 2009

The English teacher assigned a poetry writing gig, and the “boys” (see preteens for definition) have to do this. I feel it is my civic duty to steer them in the right direction since I am among the literary inclined. This, gentle readers, is a difficult task. Try asking a boy if they know who John Keats was, and they start their answer with, “Was he that dude who…..” Stop right there. John Keats, a dude? The man who gave voice to the nightingale? Oh I don’t think so.

I gave all this up, and decided I need to paint an accent wall. An accent wall means that you take one side of a room, generally a wall, and paint it a different color. Preferably a color that will contrast, blend or “pop” in the current said room.

It’s holiday season once again. This time, let’s just say NO to Randy Travis singing Christmas tunes and yes to Dean Martin. Trust me on this. In the spotlight, the bad news just keeps coming. Gloom and Doom. It seems the entire country is going bankrupt. I have decided if I end up homeless that I am going to Beverly Hills and live in a park. Why, one might ask? First of all it should be warm there (or maybe warmer); secondly as I understand, sometimes celebrities will give nice handouts, or odd jobs. So I might get a job making Paris Hilton’s breakfast, “here’s your tofu pancakes Paris dear.” Or maybe be gainfully employed bathing Britney’s dogs, or hanging Christina Aguilera’s clothes up. The possibilities are endless here. The bad news this month is that Oprah has gained her weight back. I might be able to help her with that by becoming her personal shopper. “What, nothing but raw carrots in the house?” “Yes Oprah, you’ll thank me later” (if she doesn’t find the triple chocolate fudge under my sleeping bag in the park).

Life is good, both Miss Hayley and Edith the Rat are coming to our house for Xmas. Edith lives in the science lab, and she is assigned to the sixth graders to care for. It is cold again; in fact, it is supposed to be 12 degrees this weekend. Unbelievable. The number 12 in Texas should be a shoe six or a quarterback’s number and NOT a temperature. I’m longing for those dog days of summer. Meanwhile Caroline Kennedy is interested in becoming the Senator of New York, and so is Fran the Nanny. Everyone is squawking that Caroline is “unqualified” – well good grief! We were about to let a deer hunting, lipstick wearing, snowboarding, clueless dynamo lead our entire country, and we can’t elect Caroline to cut some ribbons and attend luncheons? Or for that matter we elected an actor for president, but we can’t let the Nanny have a crack at carrying a briefcase around?

We had planned to make a gingerbread house from a kit. The problem was, gentle readers, the darn thing wouldn’t stick together like the instructions SAID it would. I knew I should have put some super glue in that icing. “Don’t eat too much of that, kids.” So we had to settle for “gingerbread walls” instead of an entire house. This wasn’t bad, it turned out quite well, and the kids got to decorate with gum drops and such. “The weather outside is frightful, but inside is so DELIGHTFUL.” Junior told me that his friend’s schnauzer was “creepy.”

 

Meanwhile I have nixed the accent wall idea. What’s wrong with white anyway? 

 

Well, this about wraps up the highlights of 2008. Who said I had a dull life, this is pretty fascinating stuff! Remember, you can put lipstick on a bad economy…..and it’s still a BAD economy. Take care everyone and have a wonderful new year! 

 

Published inpoetry