My Friend The Count

My friend The Count has
asked for my advice
He wants a makeover
to improve his social life
We could begin with his wardrobe
those musty, old clothes
Needless to say
what’s he doing wearing hose?
Then there’s his hair
black with a weird part
and him lingering late night
at the Mini Mart
His teeth are atrocious
really a bad sight
they give girls the willies
and a terrible fright
It’s weird on a date
that he might turn into
a bat or a wolf
and vanish in the blue
He’s terribly overdrawn
at the blood bank
he has a strange assistant
whose name is Hank
He can only go out at night
in the dark
so no romantic lunches
snacking in the park
He has combed dating sites
but has found them quite lame
He was scanning the computer
for his old flame
but she died in 1791, and
he really couldn’t cope
and on NightPeople.com
he has found no hope
The Count won’t tolerate mirrors,
so he never knows
if there’s spinach stuck in his fangs
before he goes
Sun days are the worst,
The Count, he must dread
sneaks away unaccounted for
then folks end up dead
The Count needs a tan
as he is much too pasty
and stop telling these chicks
they look “mighty tasty”
It’s hard to help a friend
who sometimes turns green
vanishes into the air,
hangs upside down on window screens

Well this will probably be my last Halloween holiday related post.  I know, I know, I can just hear the wails of despair. Tomorrow is Halloween, and it is highly unlikely that I will get another holiday post uploaded, so I will just have to pack away the illustrious Mrs. McLoon and my assorted monster friends until next season.  I’m not sure how Halloween will turn out here because the rain came in today, and I literally thought I was going to have to catch a boat to get home from work.  The Rock Guy will be home soon, and he apparently thinks we are going to a football game.  I may have to veto that.  If the Supreme Being wanted me to sit out in the cold, pouring rain, he would have given me insulated covering and flippers.  That’s the way I see it.  I hope all my WordPress friends have a safe and wonderful Halloween (those who celebrate it, which is mostly us Americans, and to my other dear friends across the big pond, have a super and safe weekend!)