There is a well known tiny elf
that we shall call a sprite
to avoid the little intracacies
known as copyright
This little brownie, I am told,
is quite the controversy
He takes up residence in your house
and reports what he does see
The precocious, self-important little gnome
crashes the party, takes over your home
He sits precisely on a ledge observing moments
when he has a story, to Santa then he vents
Telling tales on Cindy Lou, Bobby and
little Andy Dole
That mean, small gnome ruins Xmas eve
as they all get coal
The sprite’s actions have been much maligned
hanging out on that sill…
those threats and tattling touted now as bad
parenting skill
The gnome catches children in their weakest time
a little slip up there
like tattling, yelling, copying
and a small evil stare
All the while, he’s boss of the house
and he did replace
all the family framed photos
with his impish face!
He even caused a 911 call, an accident for fear
when a little girl knocked him down
thinking Xmas might disappear
He ran copies of his image from the
home computer one day
and stuck one right in the center of
granny’s Xmas tray
He dressed in Barbie’s clothing
missing a few moments on the sill
I thought about a candy infraction,
just a few to steal…
We aren’t talking Herself the Elf, but indeed
something more sinister
and if you’re asking me,
he’s one little mean mister
After the holidays, he will make haste to go
back to the Toy Shop in the great
Land of the Snow
Next year, it would be fine
if the Imp on the Ledge would pass us
and take up next door with the family Bore
and their doberman named Lazarus
It’s always someone has to come and rain on the old Christmas parade. Better him than me!
Yes the old you – better – be – good trick. Many teachers I subbed for had the elf on the shelf in their classrooms, didn’t help, lol.
Yes, I’m sure the kids got too smart for that trick pretty quickly!
I found out about the girl who really called “9-1-1-” about the little sprite and wondered about her call. The operator used the girl’s name! Hmmm.
Your little sprite is really bad, in my opinion. I don’t mind him trying out his feminine side, it is the tattling and black lump of coal that irks me, Lana. 🙂
I bought a girl elf which is cute, gave to my Mom last Christmas and her mate or match is residing in my home. It is about the size of my Raggedy Ann and Andy.
Happy memories of how we may have listened to warnings about Santa’s naughty list! 🙂
Oh yes, I have those memories of how I had better be good :)….ha ha. Yes my little sprite is a bit mean spirited. I think he picked on Barbie because she can be a bit vain at times, lol. I’m sure he would have pestered GI Joe if Joe was still around, which I don’t think he is. Some kids apparently take the Elf on the Shelf rather seriously, but unfortunately not any of the ones that I have been teaching, ha ha. I like that you and your mom share matching elves! I wanted to find one myself, but didn’t manage to do it this year. Here’s to staying off the naughty list … 🙂