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April

Ah, April

astounding us all

draped in robes

of beautiful cruelty

snowing us with lilacs

and luscious roses

but taking things,

once vibrant things

returning them

to the still earth

keeping that impenetrable bar

at a lofty height

keeping weeping tears

at bay

gifted a box of ashes

praying for rebirth

carrying a myriad of moons

to drown in golden light

on solitary nights.

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  1. This is mighty sad, Lana. Is everything okay in your world? I know you’re dealing with an elderly parent, as I am, and some days it takes all my “Little Debbie Sunshine” resolve to overcome the pervasive sorrow. Please know I care.

    • Debbie, my mom passed away April 19th. I’ve been working through it. Lots of writing, it does help. It will take awhile, but I’ll get there. I know this journey. I was also very close to both my grandmothers. One passed when I was 10, the other when I was 40. Tough times, but it is a road we all take. I send you much love and support and am so happy your mom has you. xo

      • Please accept my deepest condolences, Lana. Did you write about this already? How did I miss it?? I remember when my dad passed and all the stuff we had to take care of — notifying others, tidying up this and that — I don’t envy you all that (and I know it’s all going to assault me one day when Mom goes). Write, my friend. Write a LOT. I’m certain it will help! Hugs from Illinois.

        • Thank you so much, Debbie. I didn’t write about my mom passing yet. I am working on a piece that I was going to post with her photo. You are right, there’s a lot to deal with on top of the grief. The days are getting better, day by day. Writing is definitely good therapy. I have made so many good blogging friends like you that I value so much. Thanks again, hugs back to you. xo

  2. Beautiful, Lana. And so sorry for the loss of your mom. The Fogelberg song made me think you’d suffered a death and then I read the comments. A tough time, and one of the downsides of life and love. Sending you much warmth and love and hoping that you are sustained by the comfort of friends and family. <3

    • Thank you, Diana. Life changes for sure when we lose our parents. I have always loved that song, and it has always spoke to me throughout the years. It is one of the downsides of life and love. The days are better, I will get there. I have so many wonderful blogging friends who are so kind, and it is certainly a blessing to have all of you. xo

  3. Poignant words about the give and take of life, April is sly that way. I’ve always loved Dan Fogelberg’s Leader of the Band… I’m sure parts of your mom live on in you. Think about that the next time you plant a row of radishes or slide on a pair of elastic-waist pants and say to yourself, “OMG, I have become my mother!” She is right there with you. My condolences, Lana. Keep writing, it will get you through to the other side. šŸ™‚

    • Those pants will get me for sure, Joan, ha ha. Yes, I agree, I think she will always be with me. I have likewise felt that my grandmothers are. Oftentimes many things surface that remind me of them. Writing is good therapy these days. I so appreciate
      you and my other amazing blogging friends. xo

  4. Lana, my heart goes out to you…so sad to read about your mother. Writing can be such a solace and that is a support to you now…she will always be part of you, always there. Take care of yourself, hugs xx Ps. Thank you for posting the song, I’ve had it on loop, just love it.

    • Thank you, Annika. I understand more and more every day that I will always have her. I’m glad you like the song, it has always been one of my favorites.

  5. Hi Lana, Thank you for stopping at my blog today. But I was worried, I clicked on your name and it showed me something that your website does not exist. then I went over to search for l.t. gavin, and I found some searches, I opened this one and found your website. I even chatted to the help desk and they told me that there is something you did not do that you have to sort out coz when you like a comment on a site they cannot find you, and I thought I should let you know. Please check that. Thank you. Juli.

    • Hi Juli, thank you so much. I enjoyed my blog visit, I’m way behind on those. I will have to check to see if I can solve my WordPress dilemma, I don’t know why it is doing that. My techno skills aren’t the greatest. Thank you for visiting and following my blog, I appreciate it so much!

      • chat with the engineers, they told me most probably you did not activate l.t.gavin to take us straight to your blog, you need to chat with them and they will help you to make that happen. take care.

  6. I loved your poem – I realised you must have lost someone! Everything will be alright and you will pick up happiness once again. I love your blog and I will follow it from now. Thank your for your presence at mine, I appreciated that so much!

    • Thank you again. I just lost my mother a few weeks ago, it has been tough, but I know I will get there. I appreciate your warm wishes. I look forward to connecting with you online. šŸ˜€

  7. Beautiful, yet haunting Lana. I understand and I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. <3

  8. Oh Lana! I’m so very sorry to hear about your mom. I knew there was something that saddened you very much these past weeks but didn’t know what exactly and didn’t dare ask. This poem and the lovely comments you’ve received now made it clear. I can not find the words to express how sorry I am. I’m sending you many gentle hugs and much much love! xxxxxxxx ā¤

    • Thank you so much. It has been a tough few months for me, it is always hard to adjust to these things. I will always miss her, and think of all those things we left undone, but as time goes on, it will become easier. I appreciate your hugs and love, sending you some right back. Take good care of yourself. xo

      • IĀ“m glad that your writing is giving you the strength to go on. IĀ“m dreading very much the day this will happen to me too. I try not to think about it too much though…
        And although you feel that there are things left undone, the absolute main thing is that you both loved each other and made sure to let the other know it, in the end, thatĀ“s all that matters really…
        Death somehow seems always harder for those who are left behind…
        Take good care of yourself and try to not overdo it in any way (and risk getting those horrible migraines again!)! Hugs&Love! šŸ™‚ xoxo

        • I agree, Sarah, it does seem harder for those left behind. There is always a wonderful lifetime of good memories. I’m trying not to overdo things, I have been a bit too busy and if I’m not careful this summer will get by me with no writing accomplished. Yikes! šŸ˜€ xoxo

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